January 30th Small Stone
Watching Idol tonight I was reminded
why I love that show so much
when Nicki Minaj said,
“All of the stars aligned to bring you here in front of us.”
Truth is, none of us knows if
that email, that phone call, that tweet
blog post, book, song, audition, smile
or chance meeting,
will open the door to our dreams.
Yes, America, Idol or not,
we are still the land of Opportunity!
January 26th Small Stone
Walking the beach
the sand cold and damp under my feet,
the sun shining on the gentle rippling waves,
kids playing on the beach and in the surf,
people sitting, walking, fishing, talking,
a pelican dives down into the water.
I stop and wait to watch him
tilt his head back and swallow the fish.
Everything he needs is there.
People splashing in the cold water,
seagulls squealing in the background.
I turn back around
as the sun starts to sink.
I am one with everything and everyone;
standing, sitting, watching, walking,
kayakers silently waiting in the water,
all facing due west, gazing
as the sun goes lower.
Everyone at reverent attention
on my beach altar,
We stand and watch it sink,
pink with purple haze,
Walking back, I come upon
people standing at the water’s edge
facing the set sun,
a man and woman playing guitar and singing.
They sound so beautiful
it makes me cry for some reason.
Everyone praying in their own way.
I watch as we all leave
January 25th Small Stone
Fear can rear
its ugly head
up from subterranean depths
even in those who consider themselves
Always the fear of loss:
or some ego attachment.
Only love can cure it.
ego and money and titles and things,
keep fear captive in the basement
of our souls.
January 18th Small Stone
The solitary moment
when in the snap of a finger
slowly across my mind;
but rather totally empowering.
I see it clearly
as the blue sky.
January 16th Small Stone
Waiting in line at the Costco pharmacy a long time, feeling the impatience of customers and stress of employees, the woman at the register was still kind to me. I’d transferred a prescription from CVS after they raised the price again … “Could you please step to the other window to fill out some paperwork?” At the new window I asked the woman if they were short staffed and we started small talking about seasonality, snowbirds and cost structures, when she said, “The address we have for you is Marymont Place.” I laughed and said, “That was 1996 – 1998.” She replied, “I lived in San Diego then too.” We both agreed that San Diego was freaking gorgeous and freaking expensive and chatted about which Coscto we shopped at then. She commented, “I raised my kids there; we were in Oceanside.” I asked if her husband was in the military at Camp Pendleton and she said, “We were together 25 years, went to our Jr. and Sr. proms together, raised our kids, I thought it was great and he goes and falls in love with someone else.” She still looked relatively young, so I could tell they had been together since 15 or 16. Then she started telling me about the other woman and how two of her kids followed their father’s footsteps in the Marines and send her pictures of places they lived while growing up there asking, “Remember when we lived here Mom?” I told her she looked great, landed on her feet and to stay strong: “It wasn’t about you; it was about him.” She replied, “Thanks for the pep talk. You know, I try not to let it change me, but … but it leaves a residue.” All I could say is, “Yes, it does.”
Waiting in the grocery check out, I wondered how many women who’ve been divorced for years still wonder why they weren’t enough? Good enough? And blame themselves?
Walking out of Costco knowing I saved money (always a good thing), I noticed some residue around my eyes and wondered if broken hearts heal stronger like broken bones do? Or is there always the residue of fracture?
January 15th Small Stone
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr. August 28, 1963
Over the past fifty years that dream has been expanded to include: gender, all races, sexual preference, disability, size, etc. We all have that dream; at least I always have.
But life, Dr. Brian Weiss, and yoga have taught me that our souls are here to learn and often our packaging, and the experiences part and parcel to it, are significant to what our souls want and need to learn. Since said packaging is just that; our souls live forever, and each is on their own journey to learn what they’ve come to learn, why does this equality really matter?
It matters because until we all – in every country, of every race, gender, hair color, eye color, size, shape, religion, sexual preference, disabled, etc. – until we all see the soul, divinity, worth and value in each other, only then can we live on this beautiful heaven on earth in peace. When we can do that, we all will have triumphed.
So thank you Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. for your dream. It paved the way for my life and my dreams.
Happy Birthday with love!
I was busy this past weekend and wrote small stones in my head rather than here on WordPress:
Walking the beach,
with Greg & Natali –
In the water,
gulls and pelicans,
Bright sun –
April in January.
Talking like people talk –
noise and sand –
I am at one with all of it.
Watching the Green Bay vs. San Francisco game
he says, “It’s the heartbeat of their offense.”
Like he’s the heartbeat of my defense.
Finished Dr. Oz’s 3 Day Cleanse.
How simple it really is
to eat right.
My body liked it –
lost 3 lbs.
It looked back forlornly
this morning: “So what
will you feed me now?”