January 30th Small Stone
Watching Idol tonight I was reminded
why I love that show so much
when Nicki Minaj said,
“All of the stars aligned to bring you here in front of us.”
Truth is, none of us knows if
that email, that phone call, that tweet
blog post, book, song, audition, smile
or chance meeting,
will open the door to our dreams.
Yes, America, Idol or not,
we are still the land of Opportunity!
January 26th Small Stone
Walking the beach
the sand cold and damp under my feet,
the sun shining on the gentle rippling waves,
kids playing on the beach and in the surf,
people sitting, walking, fishing, talking,
a pelican dives down into the water.
I stop and wait to watch him
tilt his head back and swallow the fish.
Everything he needs is there.
People splashing in the cold water,
seagulls squealing in the background.
I turn back around
as the sun starts to sink.
I am one with everything and everyone;
standing, sitting, watching, walking,
kayakers silently waiting in the water,
all facing due west, gazing
as the sun goes lower.
Everyone at reverent attention
on my beach altar,
We stand and watch it sink,
pink with purple haze,
Walking back, I come upon
people standing at the water’s edge
facing the set sun,
a man and woman playing guitar and singing.
They sound so beautiful
it makes me cry for some reason.
Everyone praying in their own way.
I watch as we all leave
January 25th Small Stone
Fear can rear
its ugly head
up from subterranean depths
even in those who consider themselves
Always the fear of loss:
or some ego attachment.
Only love can cure it.
ego and money and titles and things,
keep fear captive in the basement
of our souls.
January 18th Small Stone
The solitary moment
when in the snap of a finger
slowly across my mind;
but rather totally empowering.
I see it clearly
as the blue sky.
January 16th Small Stone
Waiting in line at the Costco pharmacy a long time, feeling the impatience of customers and stress of employees, the woman at the register was still kind to me. I’d transferred a prescription from CVS after they raised the price again … “Could you please step to the other window to fill out some paperwork?” At the new window I asked the woman if they were short staffed and we started small talking about seasonality, snowbirds and cost structures, when she said, “The address we have for you is Marymont Place.” I laughed and said, “That was 1996 – 1998.” She replied, “I lived in San Diego then too.” We both agreed that San Diego was freaking gorgeous and freaking expensive and chatted about which Coscto we shopped at then. She commented, “I raised my kids there; we were in Oceanside.” I asked if her husband was in the military at Camp Pendleton and she said, “We were together 25 years, went to our Jr. and Sr. proms together, raised our kids, I thought it was great and he goes and falls in love with someone else.” She still looked relatively young, so I could tell they had been together since 15 or 16. Then she started telling me about the other woman and how two of her kids followed their father’s footsteps in the Marines and send her pictures of places they lived while growing up there asking, “Remember when we lived here Mom?” I told her she looked great, landed on her feet and to stay strong: “It wasn’t about you; it was about him.” She replied, “Thanks for the pep talk. You know, I try not to let it change me, but … but it leaves a residue.” All I could say is, “Yes, it does.”
Waiting in the grocery check out, I wondered how many women who’ve been divorced for years still wonder why they weren’t enough? Good enough? And blame themselves?
Walking out of Costco knowing I saved money (always a good thing), I noticed some residue around my eyes and wondered if broken hearts heal stronger like broken bones do? Or is there always the residue of fracture?
January 11th Small Stone:
New, new, new:
each morning a new day,
every new month has its new moon.
New years, new decades.
With so many opportunities,
why are we sometimes stuck in the same ‘space’
for days, months, years or decades?
Until some event, change, understanding
and the world opens up again?
Open yourself up anew today!
January 8th Small Stone
Poses tire my body,
breathing relaxes my mind,
so I can sink down
into my soul
to find peace.
Yoked, once again.